Emotional Frustrations…

I don’t know if it’s drawing near to that time of the month again, but something is bothering me. I didn’t take the time to stop & think about it, now that I have, i feel slightly angry. Why is it, that my 2 closest friends are the most selfish beings when I need them the most? I just can’t comprehend how they are allowed to move on & be happy with their lives and who they have, but somehow I’m expected to pause mine and be ready to press play when they need me? It’s like as soon as I get a chance to happiness, there they are ready to take it away from me. I feel like their imprisoned puppy, they want to give me affection when it’s the most convenient for them, but whenever they’re feeling down I have to be their always ready to greet them with a smile. It just sucks that when for the first time in your life, you are ready to be selfish, the people you thought who’d be there to support you because you deserve it after all the selflessness you’ve provided for them, last minute decide to bail! All I’m saying is that, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if you are going to express it towards me, try not guilt-tripping me in the process. I have always put everyone’s needs before mine, so don’t be surprised to find me always there for you, and forever feeling sad & lonely../